Everyone who lives here is already dead. Final

Part 3

There is no way out. 

After what I saw on that tape, it’s clear that I can never go back to my old life. 

And to be fair, living here is not too bad, all in all. The hell they built here feels comfortable. I have electronics. My food is provided for me. I have neighbors who want to spend time with me. The games are different, the shops are fake, and the people are slightly strange, but I could get used to it. 

I spent most of my days either taking strolls through town or sitting in my living room, watching shows on television. I got really into one that looked like it was made for children, with very bright colors and a creepy ass man. Jane and Joe showed it to me.
Sometimes I’d have tea with Martha. I’d exchange books with Ravi. And of course, I’d go to board game night once a week. 

But there was still one problem. I no longer only sat opposite a dead man. I sat opposite the man I killed. 

Now, as I’m not dead, I’m quite certain the others aren’t either. But either way, I am the reason Nicholas ended up here. 

He kept coming to the game night. After that one night, we talked, he seemed to be getting in order, and by that I mean he was acting like the others. He brought wine as a gift, made conversation, and played the games. We walked back afterwards, and he didn’t mention anything about the whole being dead stuff. I didn’t start that conversation either, fearing what he might remember.

It was one of those uneventful board game nights, when Nicholas and I walked home together. Martha usually stayed later to help Ravi tidy up. Joe and Jane both lived in the other direction, so it was only the two of us.

“Can I invite myself over for a cup of tea?” He suddenly broke the silence.

“Uhm, sure. When?”

“Now. Like right now.”

I felt hesitant but nodded. Nicholas went back to the silent mode as he followed me down the path to my house. After the door closed behind us, he immediately sprinted up the stairs. I just stood there and had no idea how to react. A few minutes later, he came back down, still not saying anything. He continued into the kitchen, then the living room.

“Excuse me, what the hell are you doing?” I finally asked.

He seemed a little out of breath when he slumped down on the sofa.

“Checking if we’re alone.”

“Why wouldn’t we be?” I asked.

“Because I’m not. Well, almost never. At first, one of them would sit by my bed all night, watching me. After I proved myself a little, he moved down to the living room. Now I get to be alone most nights, but they come and check now and then.”

“That’s horrific,” I blurted out.

Nicholas narrowed his eyes.

“Is it? Some people might say it’s an honor to be the center of attention for the people who provide so much for us.”

We were treading a very fine line here. Nicholas very obviously hadn’t been convinced of the life here; he was just acting like it, to keep himself safe, I presumed. I, on the other hand, had reached the point where I went along with everything to keep my secret safe. 

As I looked into the fearful eyes of the man I believed I murdered, I realized something very important. I could never make up for what I did that night, but I could help him now. I could be the one to show him he could trust his mind, that his suspicions were real. It might bring me into danger with Malakai, but didn’t I owe him the truth at least?

Well, maybe not the entire truth if I could help it. 

“I know that this isn’t death,” I admitted. 

“Then why are you suddenly so accepting of it?” He asked.

“I had a conversation with Malakai.”

On this, his eyes widened. 

“He tried to convince me that I took my own life,” I continued. “But he soon realized that I wouldn’t simply believe that. So he admitted it was wrong, but… the life I had before, I can never go back to it. So that’s why I’m accepting this life, as strange as it is.”

Nicholas seemed to contemplate that for a moment.

“That’s because they haven’t tortured you yet,” he whispered. 

I asked him to elaborate, but there was no answer. For a moment, it felt as if Nicholas wasn’t even consciously in the room anymore, staring at a point on the ground.

Suddenly, his eyes snapped back to me. 

“I doubt my death was on national news, so you must have lived near me? Did we know each other?” He sounded almost hopeful. Poor guy, if only he knew. 

“No.”

He buried his face in his hands.

“I just want to remember. Everything has been so blurry since I came here. Why is nobody looking for me?” 

“You didn’t have that many friends, I believe,” I admitted. 

Nicholas froze.

“How would you know?” He asked.

“I read some stuff, remembrance post or something, I-,”

“Alright, you can stop,” Nicholas said, his tone suddenly eerily calm. “I know. I just wanted to confirm. Malakai showed me a tape of your confession.”

—

I felt detached from my own body. Nothing felt real. Was this the moment I truly would die? Nicholas had every right to try it. I probably wouldn’t even be able to fight back. But he didn’t do anything; he just kept staring at me. 

Finally, he started to speak. 

“I believe he did it because he wanted us to mistrust each other. And believe me, I fucking hate you. But I’m not going to give that bastard the satisfaction. And you, in turn, will help me get the hell out of here. Because, Benny, I swear to God I will find a way to murder you if you don’t. I suppose there are no corpses in the afterlife, so that might be the perfect proof to convince the others here that we’re being tricked.”

He knew. He already knew. God, how long had he known? 

Before I could form any sort of reply, we were interrupted by a knock on the door. First, a soft one, then it sounded more urgent. 

I wondered if we should ignore it, but if it were the masked people, they would let themselves in anyway. It had to be someone else, and I was happy for any sort of distraction, so I slowly got up from my seat. Nicholas didn’t stop me as I walked to the door and opened it to find Jane, her face as pale as a sheet. 

“Can you come with me?” She whispered. I looked behind me and found Nicholas right there.

“What’s wrong?” He asked. Jane didn’t answer; she simply turned around and walked away. Nicholas and I exchanged a quick look and then started following her. Down and down the street until we reached the home where she currently lived with her brother. 

The door was wide open.

We followed her inside until she finally stopped in front of the kitchen. 

The first thing I saw was his shoes, hanging in the air. His limp body. And finally, the rope around his neck. 

“How can he die when he’s already dead?” Jane asked, and in that moment, she almost sounded like a child. 

I was still frozen in shock, but Nicholas moved right away. He grabbed a knife, climbed onto a chair, and cut the rope off in a swift move. He tried to hold onto Joe, but his body must have been too heavy as he fell to the ground with a loud thump. 

“How can he die when he’s already dead?” Jane repeated. 

“Get her the hell out of here,” Nicholas shouted, and that finally pulled me out of my trance. I gently grabbed Jane by the arm and guided her outside. She didn’t resist, simply followed along like a zombie. 

She sat down right on the lawn that was only illuminated by the soft light of the street lamps. 

“Death felt so strange, but he likes it. Joe likes it. I wanted to like it too, but it felt so wrong… He wanted to prove to me it was right.. Like Ravi did. You can’t die when you’re already dead. But then why does he look dead?”

She turned to me with an expectant gaze, as if I could give her the answers. How could I tell her that her brother was truly dead, that we weren’t immortal? I was looking for the right words, but knew that nothing could comfort her right now. Nothing would probably ever comfort her. How do you get over the death of your own twin?

I sat down next to her.

And then I heard something I hadn’t in a while. The sound of cars. They pulled down the street, four of them, and stopped right in the middle of the street. A set of masked people stepped out of each; they paid us no attention as they swiftly made their way into the house. This might have been our moment to make a run for it, try to steal a car, and simply drive. But I was too numb, and I imagined Jane didn’t have the energy either. 

Nicholas came outside, and when we locked eyes, he simply shook his head and joined us on the ground. 

Moments passed, and the masked people finally emerged, dragging a big, white body bag. Two of them filled it into one of the vehicles. One of them walked over and started gesturing to Jane to follow her.

“She- she can stay with me tonight,” I offered, but the person shook their head. 

“She will be reunited with her brother,” It was a male voice, but it sounded distorted, almost mechanical. 

“Her brother is dead,” I shouted, and was kicked in the face before I knew what was happening. I touched my lip and saw blood. A hand grabbed me roughly and pulled me up. Everything happened so quickly, but I realized that someone else had Nicholas by the arm. Then I felt a sharp pain in my leg. Everything went blurry, and my body felt heavy. I was being guided toward a car, I believe, but my body didn’t feel like my own anymore. I had no control. I couldn’t tell where Nicholas and Jane were, but I knew that I should be afraid. I should have been but the feeling wouldn’t fully form. And then I just felt unbelievably tired.

—

I woke up hearing the chirping of birds and feeling soft sheets underneath me.  The scent of cinnamon and coffee filled my nose. For a short moment, I felt content. Then my memories flooded back in, and I jolted up right. I was in a room, but it wasn’t mine. Not my old one and not the one of my new home. I was somewhere entirely different; it almost looked like a children’s room. I stood up and realized I had been sleeping inside a racecar bed, one big enough for an adult. There were posters on the wall, a desk with pens and paper strewn around. Toys lying everywhere. I ran to the window and pulled the curtains open. The outside looked almost like the one I’d gotten used to but something was different; the perspective wasn’t quite the same. 

With a sinking feeling in my stomach, I finally decided to leave the room. When I opened the door, I immediately heard voices coming from downstairs. There were people inside, chatting animatedly. They sounded happy, lively. That only increased the dread in me. Something was terribly wrong. 

I cautiously made my way down the stairs, following the voices all the way to the kitchen. I’m not sure what I was expecting, but it certainly wasn’t this. 

I saw Martha standing by the stove. At first, I almost didn’t recognize her. She wasn’t wearing her black dress, she had changed into a bright yellow one instead. My eyes went to the kitchen table where Jane was sitting, eating pancakes with the brightest grin on her face.

“Good morning, sleepyhead,” she called out.

Martha turned around, and a huge smile spread on her face. 

“Finally, we were worried you’d sleep away the entire night. Your sister and I have been up for hours! Did you rest well, honey?” She asked. 

“My- my sister?” I asked.

Jane frowned.

“Yes. Hello? Did you hit your head or something? Now come on, sit down, Mum made your favorite!”

I was stunned into silence. 

“Where’s Nicholas?” I finally asked. 

Martha and Jane exchanged a look I couldn’t decipher.

“Of course, you wanna play with your friend. Well, sorry, honey, he’s unwell. His uncle told me just yesterday. And besides, you can’t go outside for a few days. You’re not quite well either. But don’t worry, I’m sure you will adjust quickly. And then you can see each other again.” 

—

I can’t say what new hell I’d stepped into now. However,  I have learned something. For my survival, I at least need to act like I believe what is happening is normal. While simultaneously trying to remember who I really am.

I’m Benny. I’m 32 years old, I’ve worked as a data analyst for eight years, and I believed that I recently moved to a very small town because I had been dangerously close to burnout. I’m not dead. My mother passed away five years ago. My father left us when I was seven. My favorite color is blue. I have no siblings. 

And one thing is for sure.

This is only the beginning.