Beware the Treehouse

“Where is this treehouse my kid keeps talking about?”

I read on the neighborhood facebook group, I hadnt lived in the neighborhood for long, 2 maybe 3 months but I already understood the post. My son, Jamie, has been talking about the same thing, every night before bed;

“Dad, can i go to the treehouse tomorrow”

When I first heard it, I said yes, I didn’t know what he was talking about but we were new to the neighborhood and I thought itd be a chance for my boy to make some friends.

Despite my initially excited response to Jamies request, it was actually quite some time before I followed through and took him to the treehouse, and when Jamie called me out on breaking my promise, staring at his little face I knew I had to step it up as a father. The next morning I woke him up with breakfast; scrambled eggs coated in sugar just the way Jamie had always loved. He had learned the recipe from his Papaw, I knew it wasn’t the healthiest but I couldn’t resist making it for him and seeing his awfully adorable smile, god the boy smiled like it hurt, but it was his and he wore it proudly. After we finished breakfast I washed up and told Jamie the news “You up to visit the treehouse now?” and there it was once again, that toothless, painful smile of his, I felt like i was nailing this single parent thing.

I didn’t need to hear his response, I asked him where it was expecting the name of a park, or even some kids address. But no, he grabbed my hand and took me to my own backyard. He pointed at the tree, I may not have lived here long, but I lived here long enough to know that there was no treehouse back there, and thats exactly what I told Jamie, and when I did he just laughed and told me, “No dad, you cant see it from down here, we have to climb” he giggled like I was an idiot, and confused I played along, he took my hand once again and we started climbing the tree. I hadn’t done it in years so I was slow, and admittedly I was scared of heights but I didn’t need Jamie to know his dad wasn’t some man of steel so I just kept it to myself, whispering:

“Don’t look down, just don’t. look. down”.

And thats exactly what I did, kept my eyes on the sky. Jamie however was like a spider-monkey, climbing the tree with the energy only a 8 year old child could have. He was getting further and further away when my parental instincts kicked in and I realized I probably shouldn’t let my 8 year old climb so high up, I shouted at him that he needs to come back down, but when i looked around i realized couldn’t see him.

The tree was tall, so tall that you would have to damn near break your neck to see the top, but I thought we were about halfway up and there was no way he could be so far from me, but with every shout, I heard no response, I could no longer hear the sound of his joy, or the slight crack of the branches. No it was silent, I could feel the breeze, cold, like I was higher than I thought. I felt unsettled, the silence, the cold breeze, the loneliness all making me panic. Chills running down my spine, tears forcing their way out of my eyes, and my legs shaking. I finally looked down, the ground was gone, it was just there and now, gone. There was just more tree, going on and on forever, the tree was not this fucking tall. The vertigo hit me and i could feel myself starting to lean, starting to fall. I didn’t know what the hell was going on so I just hugged the tree tight, feeling the bark against my skin, leaving imprints as I white knuckles the damn thing. I was cheek to wood and sat with my eyes shut, squeezing them closed with the same force Jamie used to smile. Jamie.

I almost forgot about my boy and that was the worst part of the whole damn experience, how could I call myself a dad if in the face of fear I couldn’t fight for my own child. With that motivation I open my eyes, taking a breath I looked around, I wasn’t seeing things, there was nothing but endless sky, and a never ending tree. Branches reaching out on all sides like a twisted ladder to an even more twisted heaven. Had I died? Did I fall and crack my head, and if so, what about Jamie?

I shook my head, if I died what was I to do? Absolutely nothing. But here, right now, there was something I could do. I could keep climbing. But which way? My brain was telling me down, but Jamie, Jamie had been climbing up when I last saw him. I wasn’t leaving him, not my boy, my Jamie. So I ignored my brain like any loving father would and I climbed. I climbed with anger, I climbed with fear, I climbed with sadness. So many emotions coursing through me but I needed to reach my boy and he was moving much faster than I was so there was no time to stop. I don’t know how much time had passed, but it was getting dark, wherever I was time still passed like normal, and I was getting tired. I broke down in tears, my hands were shredded, warm blood flowing along the creases of my hand like rivers. My body was sore, and worst of all my son was still nowhere in sight. I cried and cried and did the only thing i could to let it all out. I screamed, it was the first time i made a sound in what felt like hours and it sounded horrid, cracking and breaking as I whaled like a banshee. After which I sat in the infinite silence for who knows how long.

I could feel my self slipping into unconsciousness, but I was jolted awake by that falling feeling you get in bed, but this time it was real, I caught myself, grabbing on to whatever I could and holding on tight. I nearly died, my efforts were almost for nothing…but what were my efforts for? I said it earlier, what if I already died? Or what if this was a dream and falling was the only way out? And if i had almost fallen, what if Jamie had? I didn’t know it but all the thoughts had me crying again, I was only alerted to it when I felt a tear drip from my cheek onto my thigh. That one drop was like a cold plunge that snapped me out of it and I wiped my tears away and focused, I grabbed my belt and tied it around my waist and the tree trunk. If I was gonna make this climb, if I was gonna find Jamie I needed to sleep, I needed the energy. I didn’t know how far I had to go but I was gonna keep going until I saw Jamies smile again, the image was my motivation, my reason for living through this hell just as it had been throughout the rest of my life since his birth. I kept that picture in my mind until my body slipped away into a deep unconsciousness, so deep that when I awoke, I was being torn apart.

Birds.

Birds had begun eating at my broken down body. chunks of my thigh ripped from me, like it wasn’t mine to begin with, they pecked with greed and I tried to fight back, undoing my belt and thrashing it around like a lunatic, whipping at the black birds until they flew away with parts of me. parts that i would never get back. I sat for a minute, resting in the pain, who knows how long they had been eating at me. Drips of blood run off my body and into the forever below. I continued my climb, the pain in my hand becoming unbearable as the adrenaline wore off. And much to my dismay I had to stop, how much more could my body take, maybe I needed more rest. I sat there straddling that tree branch, feeling the grooves in the bark against my legs, it hit me, I had my phone. I know how insane it sounds that I never thought of that when this all started but I rarely have my phone on me, I try to avoid using it, I don’t want to set a bad example for Jamie. I pulled my phone out and dialed 911, what they were gonna do I have no clue, and I would never find out because the phone never stopped ringing, I kept trying over and over. Never once did it pick up, never once did it go to voicemail. It was just a perpetual ringing, a sound I actually enjoyed because it was a break from the silence. Thinking back, not even the birds had made a sound, but this, this was a sound. One I would cherish. I must’ve had sat for hours enjoying that tune because the sun was starting to set once again. I was failing Jamie, I know, but my body couldn’t stand the idea of beginning the climb again. So I stayed right where I was, I pulled up the notes app on my phone and started typing out all this.

I just wanted to kill some time and who knows what was to happen to me. This way maybe somehow someone would find my phone, and find Jamie if I couldn’t. That leads me to now, my body is broken, maybe my mind too, but Jamies smile is still pushing me to keep going, and I need to see it again. So if you’re reading this, please find Jamie.

–

What you just read was the final thing I found on my sons phone, I had gone to visit him at his new house. When I knocked on the door there was no answer, and when i called, I could hear the ringing in the backyard. I walked around, peeked through the fence and saw his phone on the floor. I opened the gate and picked up the phone from the muddy ground, wiping it off I saw his final message,

“I made it to the treehouse, it’s so beautiful”.

When i looked up, god when I looked up I saw him. Only 12 feet up lay my boy, and my grandson, twisted among the branches, eyes glazed over, birds picking at them, making nests in my sons unhinged jaw, and Jamie, my sweet grand-baby Jamie, still smiling. His painfully forced smile still on his sweet little face.

My wails and cries at the sight were loud but not alone, they were met with the cries of neighbors; mothers, fathers, friends, all stumbling into their own backyards, and seeing that their kids had also found the treehouse.