Amber Rose

I was in love with a girl once.

She was beautiful, bright but it hurt for me to look at her, kind of like the sunrise creeping through the blinds on a Saturday morning after a long night of bourbon. She was fair skinned but not a usual white, but a porcelain, almost translucent white. The kind you might see in a medieval oil portrait painting of a queen or a princess. Her hair was blonde with streaks of almost white, entangled in her curly long locks, springing with each step she took. It was almost like all of the energy of her being was flowing through her hair. It was pure. It was sexy. It was perfect. How pretty she was. How pretty she used to be before it all went down.

She stood wearing a red dress in the frozen food sections of the grocery store the first time we met. The contrast was almost comical and cruel, comparable to a blood drop on an empty off-white bathroom sink, right after a rough shave. She was literally the distraction program that got Neo killed in the Matrix because he couldn’t help but look. The wind blew through her like she was a supermodel at a photoshoot. Did I mention she was pretty? That red dress. My god, how that dress tore off of her that day. That red dress was the dress she died in. That red dress was the dress I could never scrub from the deepest parts of my memories. The dress only deepened in color by the end of that day.

Abandoned is a word I could use to describe how I felt when I saw her for the first time. Empty. Alone. Engulfed. Fixated. Hungry. I was ready to end it all. My life was a series of unfortunate events which my therapist could only say was “cruel and unusual”. I was born uncomfortably ugly, with the worst acne and complexion a teenager could ever be given. My voice creaked and cracked worse every year, giving me incredible anxiety to ever open my mouth. My name was Eugune for fucks sake. It was like my parents were in on God’s funny joke. Even they forget from time to time that I even existed, so how could I fault her for not immediately noticing me.

I was suddenly obsessed and in love with a girl who I had never even met. She was the pit in my stomach and the pains in my heart and although I never said a word to this girl, her voice was all that I could hear. Amber. I caught her name on her credit card one day and she swiped to pay for some yogurt and granola in the self checkout aisle. I might need glasses but these eyes are sharp, when they need to be.

She caught my attention as she scurried down the lanes with my cart filled with booze, pasta and random juices. As I passed the toiletries aisle, I saw what was a red blur at first but what focused on it was Amber. She was the one. My forever and ever. My reason to put the booze back and go over to the fruits and veggies instead. Like Romeo and Juliet, without the horrible Old English dialog and the eventual poison suicide. I quickly stopped, deciding that I was in desperate need of some new Old Spice “Ocean Breeze” that was across from the shampoos and conditioners. I could see that her shoes were a perfect fit, with slight scratches on the heel and toes. A slight wedge, not that she needed the height.

She was standing alone in the store, pondering what shampoo would tame the mane that sat at the top of her head. I walked past her and caught a whiff of what could only be described as unforgettable. The smell of a girl could never be mistaken with another, there’s something about their pheromones that pin that scent with that particular being. Amber’s fragrance was too strong for flowers or anything to associate with the color pink or even light blue. Oh no, she had the aroma of intensity and desire, as if her scent was a roaring vigorous flame, encompassing everything around it; “Set it and Watch it Burn” would be the name of her perfume and yes, everyone would want to buy it. I would be first in line.

I came to this particular supermarket every week at the same time, praying to catch a glimpse at my blonde beauty. I first saw her over a year ago at the Star Market down the street from my apartment. She was with a guy, who I presumed was her boyfriend. He was okay looking, nothing impressive. Average height, nice smile, a little overweight. Grey sweatpants kind of guy. He wasn’t who I would expect Amber to be with, she was a goddess compared to this puny mortal. Over time, I saw less and less of him and more of just her. The contents of her cart slowly showed more and more that she lived alone, filled with some chicken, veggies and a few bottles of white wine. Not nearly enough food for two, which was a relief for me. I don’t think I could bear it if she was still with that loser. Her outfits at the market also began to get dressier, nicer, less comfortable. Almost like she was trying to get someone to notice. Don’t you worry, my love. I noticed.

Today she was all alone; perfect for me to finally get up the courage. Today was the day that I finally talked to her. I know exactly what I will say, I will go up to her and say “I know you don’t know who I am but I have seen you around town for the past year and man do I think you’re wonderful. My name is Alex and I would sure love to take you on a date.” Perfect, right? I had cataloged a myriad of different opening lines and this was the one that showed the most promise. Not desperate. Kind, not super creepy. Shows her what kind of man I am.

As I sifted through the various deodorants, she pondered between the Suave and Herbal Essence. She was right behind me yet I couldn’t get the courage to speak up. It was as if there was a plug clogging my throat, not allowing a single sound to escape my lips. Oblivious to her, I was a nervous wreck. I began to sweat and shake.

Oh no.

I was a disgusting mess, there was no way I could talk to my dream girl in this state. I had to bail and get myself together, I thought. But she was literally right there and well if she doesn’t accept me like I am then who’s to say that I’m worth it. This was it. My only shot. A whole year of planning, plotting, wishing. I needed to do this for myself. I couldn’t go on any longer thinking about what could be and I needed to make her love me. I gathered myself, swiped my long brown, sweaty hair across my forehead like a streak on a painting. She turned around. “Hi I know you…..”

CRASSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

BOOOOM

Thud…

Scrape…

I spun around to see a car lodged in between the Coke and bread aisles. It was a 2013 Honda Civic, gunmetal gray, with a nice sunroof and playing what sounded like the newest Justin Timberlake song. Around me, a woman was screaming and the store began to catch fire and fill up with smoke. I could see daylight pouring in from the other side of the store, the hole from which the car came through became filled with people rushing out. It was almost electric as I scanned the store. It was then that I saw something that alarmed me more than there being a car in the middle of the supermarket.

I saw a child.

Her face was pale and sunken in, like rotten fruit that had been left in the bread box for days. Her eyes were lifeless and wondering, almost searching for someone or something. It was what was in her hand that terrified me. She was holding her arm. Her un-attached, fully intact arm. She didn’t look worried or in pain either. She just looked unaware. It was then that I also noticed her leg. It had been ripped apart, almost like when you take a hunk out of a freshly picked apple. The blood still flowing, I could see right through to the other side, as a trail of crimson followed close behind.

I saw the child stumble over to one of the victims of the car crash. The woman was sobbing and screaming, covered in blood as her arm was folded in half, bones sticking out like a broken tree branch. The child’s body slumped over the top of the victim and she sank her teeth into the shoulder of the woman, who was now passed out from the pain. Her fingers clawing and grabbing into the woman’s torso as a chunk of skin hung from the little girl’s bottom lip. She looked as if she had just taken a bite of a rare ribeye and she let the flesh hang from her teeth. She was grinning. It was then that her eyes met mine and she picked her head up from the pulsing body and started marching in my direction, already done with her recently deceased dinner.

Dessert was next.

Now sufficiently terrified, I sprinted toward the exit, hoping for a way out, but also still frantically looking for Amber. As I looked around, it seemed like a shitty Syfy B-movie special. There were people running all around, panic in the air and I was at the heart of it. I looked to the back of the store to see if there was a restroom or a room to hold up in. I saw in the back a sign that was a storage closet for the bathroom cleaner and I bolted for the door. As I ran, I saw carnage like I had never seen before.

CRUNCH.

GURGLE.

SNAP!

It was terrifying to think that these were sounds coming from people. Even more so that other people were causing this horror. When I looked to my right, I was suddenly face to face with another man. He was an older man, probably in his 50s. He had a long, grey pony tail and was wearing a leather biker jacket. He was stocky and scared, like he really seen some shit in his days. He had a bite on his forearm, right above a tattoo with a woman’s face on it. “Betty” it read. He was limping to the same door I was. I had to make a split decision and I would never in a million years think I was capable of doing this. I went over to the man and hit him over the top of the skull with a huge bottle of pickles. It crashed, as the liquid flowed around him. A mix of vinegar and iron flooded my nostrils. He went down instantly but his eyes were still scanning to the door. He was a tough son of a bitch, this was not his first fight.

So I broke his legs. Without hesitation, I went up to his limp body and forced my foot into his calf, with a strength I never knew I had.

I stomped down on his leg so hard, it sounded like a gun shot went off. And then came the blood. And the screams.

He roared in anguish. I had no choice, I thought.

It was either him or me.

As I turned around, I saw 5 people, with the same hungry look that others had developed approaching the scene. Blank stares turned frantic as the scent of fresh blood filled the air.

The guy looked at me in fright and said, “FUCK YOU!”

He sobbed.

“YOU FUCKING COWARD, YOU KILLED ME. YOU…”

Those were his last words.

The group came upon him like wolves ready to devour their prey. Ripping his flesh and tearing apart his insides like a kid on christmas morning opening their biggest present. The little girl, which who I saw earlier joined in on the carnage, eyes wide with rage and devotion. This image was the last thing I saw before I entered the dark storage closet. His screams disappeared and all that was left was the noise of the chaos around us.

I raced to the door and flung it open and slammed it shut behind me. There was a rack so I slammed it against the door and locked the lock from the inside. Emotions then began to overpower adrenaline as I saw who was inside. She glowed like an angel floating through hell.

Amber. She was there. Inside the closet with me. She was passed out. And it looked as if she had been hurt.

I sat in the darkness and took out my phone for some light. I looked to see that cell service was still up and I had almost a full battery. 93% battery and two bars of service. Not a single message from anyone I knew, except the emergency alert that now flooded my screen.

“GET TO AN ENCLOSED AND SAFE AREA. LOCK ALL DOORS IN YOUR HOMES. THERE IS AN EXTREME MEDICAL AND BIOLOGICAL EMERGENCY TAKING PLACE. DO NOT OPEN YOUR DOORS TO STRANGERS. DO NOT LET ANYONE WHO HAS BEEN BIT BY ANOTHER HUMAN WITHIN 6 FEET OF YOUR PROXIMITY. PROCEED WITH EXTREME CAUTION TO A SHELTER OR LOCAL EMERGENCY LOCATION. LISTEN TO LOCAL RADIO FOR MORE INSTRUCTIONS FROM LOCAL AND NATIONAL GOVERNMENT OFFICIALS”

I sat there, feeling the weight of the situation. I left out a soft sob, as I realized what was going to become of this world. The people here at the grocery were only the beginning. This was going to be much worse before it got any better. I looked at my lockscreen, as an image of my cat stared back at me. I hoped she would be alright. Cats were resilient creatures. Humans however, devolved the moment things got tough.

I looked up. I sat across the room from the one thing I had been pining after for over a year. The whole reason I was at this stupid market place instead of living my life. The pathetic nature of who I was and how I had wasted my life washed over me, like an avalanche. What an absolute loser I had been. I had let my obsession with a pretty girl lead me into a destiny of death, a situation that was so hopeless and destitute that I was now going to die in a broom closet at a fucking Star Market.

Her eyes opened, as I stared off into the distance. The sound of muffled moans, the sloshing of coagulated blood and the stench of burning plastic were dulled as I looked back into her gorgeous blue pupils. They were empty. Sullen. Sad. But there was desire behind those eyes.

She began to stir as I noticed that she had that same empty expression that I had seen in the market before. She was one of them and I was locked inside a 4 foot room with her. My mind began to race. She had finally noticed me. For the first time in my life, I felt truly wanted. Loved. I wasn’t alone. I felt a longing that I recognized as the same feelings I had felt for her over the months leading up to this day. Maybe this would be my chance. We could finally be together.

Her fingers reached out toward me, longing for my flesh. It was intoxicating, feeling so seen. As she approached, I saw the mark on her arm, swollen and fresh, matching the rouge hue of her dress and shoes today. She had dressed up, just for me I thought. I allowed myself to get lost in the delusion, as she wrapped her cold, beautiful porcelain skin around me, in an almost delicate touch before she squeezed my shoulder and bit down hard. Pain and euphoria coursed through my body, as finally, I felt the warm embrace of my beloved Amber. Her teeth became one with my skin, as I felt her desire to be close to me. In that moment, I felt what it meant to be loved, unconditionally.

And finally, I gasped “I know you don’t know who I am but I have seen you around town for the past year and man do I think you’re wonderful. My name is Alex and I would sure love to take you on a date.”

She moaned in delight as she tore through each one of my shoulder tendons. She whipped her head back and went in for more.

I think that meant yes.