Irish AFL legend Zach Tuohy has revealed all on his fiery clashes with former coach Brendon Bolton in his new autobiography ‘The Irish Experiment’, and one head scratching pre-season moment dubbed ‘biscuit-gate’ has caught a lot of attention.
The 34-year-old from County Laois is widely regarded as one of the greatest international players in the games history, but his hopes of being a one club man were dashed in 2016 when Bolton took over for what remains his only AFL senior coaching role.
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“In the beginning, I was desperate to make it work”, Tuohy wrote in his book of the relationship that would ultimately lead to his exit at the club after playing 120 games. “I found Bolts very intense. It was difficult, in fact almost impossible, to have a casual chat with him about anything unrelated to football… He just couldn’t turn off for a second”.
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Tuohy goes on to detail a series of incidents that soured his opinion on the first year coach, with the disagreements beginning before a ball was even kicked ahead of Carlton’s first match under Bolton’s tenure; an exhibition against the Hawks in Launceston.
“When we took off from Melbourne, the flight attendants made their way down the aisle with the refreshments trolley, offering tea or coffee, and a biscuit… from memory, the biscuits were those little shortbread tasty morsels. Why do you need to know this? I can explain,” Tuohy wrote in a book extract published by the Herald Sun.
“When we arrived at the hotel, we were called into the team room for a meeting”. As soon as the players sat, Bolton began.
“‘I’d like any player who ate one of the biscuits offered to them on the plane to stand up’. Now at this point I’m thinking, is this a joke? Surely it’s a joke. But his tone was serious. Players started to stand up. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. Mostly I couldn’t believe that I wasn’t one of the ones forced to stand up. It wasn’t like me to miss the opportunity of a biscuit.
“‘Do you think it’s professional to do that? Do you think it’s going to make you a better player?’ Bolts demanded.
“F**k me, it’s a biscuit, I thought… I couldn’t believe what I was seeing and hearing. I got that the guy wanted to set the tone and the standard, but this shit was crazy”.
“When we got into the regular season, the level of intensity at meetings made Biscuit-gate light hearted.”
The Blues would go on to lose their first three games, culminating in an ugly 54 point defeat at the Gold Coast Suns. “Despite the loss, Sam Docherty had shot the lights out… Inspired by his epic performance, Bolts decided that the mantra for the meeting would be: ‘What would Doch do?’”.
Tuohy describes being singled out on the receiving end of a spray from Bolton, who disagreed with his choice to kick downfield instead of attempting a risky handball to Docherty.
“As we watched my alleged misdemeanour in super-slow motion and I pointed out that I only had a millisecond to make the decision, it all fell on deaf ears,” Tuohy wrote.
“I’ve copped sprays from coaches over the journey – senior coaches, assistant coaches, VFL coaches – they’ve all had a go and it’s never felt personal.
“This was the only time in my 15-year career that I’ve sat in a meeting and thought, ‘This bloke just has it in for me… I can confirm that I’ve never, ever dreaded going to work as much as I did when Brendon Bolton was in charge of the club.”
In the end it was all too combative for Tuohy, who described the 2016 season as “bleak”.
He made his move to Geelong the following season, and went on to play 168 games for the Cats, winning the Premiership in 2022; just the second Irishman to do so.
“I didn’t want to leave the Blues”, he finished, “but how could Bolts and I move forward if this was how it was going to be?”
Tuohy married his long term partner in 2022, and has been involved in local business back home in Ireland since retirement, opening a chain of coffee shops with a friend called ‘The Wandering Elk’.
You can read more from Zach Tuohy’s autobiography at the Herald Sun.